Pitting restlessness against solitude

With the prospect of an upcoming school year, we all experience the ambivalence squeezed between socializing boost and an initial decline in productivity. To a person like me myself working with paper and pens, nothing is more dreadful than an alternation between lifestyles. The long dreamt scenario of an intellectual commune or an eternal workshop of socratic ideas flowing has been dismissed as surreal at best. One must find a living niche in a society dominated by boisterous shoptalk and omnivorous behaviorism. When I was in k12, the chiming of school bell sounded perhaps ominously cloying, even when it was preluding the onset of lunchtime. One is always reluctant to face up to the reality that what has been done in the past does not build up in the future. This wisdom of causal helplessness contrasts especially starkly with the retrospect (or prospect if time is viewed as disparate from the parameter of the world line) of time traveling. As any recursively motivated thinker would attempt to actualize, a premeditated programming of the future, regardless of its length of effectiveness, might be deemed somewhat divining and help relieve the temperamental moral or psychological lapse to which a person like me myself often fell victim.
  The plan is simply to engage in some form of self conditioning with the goal of enforcing and reinforcing a rather complicated system of responsive scheduling, which ultimately helps making more cohesive minute decisions than a hot-headed person under the influence of hormonal fluctuation could. A more practical version could consist of a fixed sequence of passive reception, such as taped message, disciplinary actions against some habitual behavior, or certain forms of entertainment and diversification that might be overlooked within the hustle and bustle of daily churning. And people are indeed constantly experimenting with these forms of future targeting. They buy books, anticipating on an enjoyable and informing readership in the remote future. They hoard money, under the premise that their life lasts as long as their miserliness wears out to accommodate for the pursuit of higher living standards. In some sense, investment is a purely divine business. But history has made it clear that those who understand the future master the present, just like gods do. Thus knowing a personal foible could save a lifetime of decimated struggle.
   Thus to me, setting up a time table for the future is perhaps the first step towards fate steering, and living a healthier life.  

About aquazorcarson

math PhD at Stanford, studying probability
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