A lost passion

  Long distance relationship never works, as I found out yesterday, perhaps even earlier, but I was too stubborn to accept it in action. Life has been somewhat cruel to me. Throughout the years I have never reached out to acquire a taste of local delicacy. It’s always been somewhat remorseful retrospective cross-cultural action, where culture is in its broadest definition of human clustering through common cause. I definitely found it too upfront to elicit favor from someone passing nearby. It is deemed somewhat wanton by my ancestral standards, but not only that, it seems deleterious to an unconstrained stream of hardship that defines my work ethic, at least on the surface. So parents and friends blame it to lack of social gathering, and indeed they are right about it. I haven’t given myself completely to repeated trial and failure in front of a massive crowd, figuratively speaking, nor am I emboldened to face the challenge of making choice and deflecting criticism, real or imaginary, not from the cogitating, calculating mind in an isolated nutshell, but as a consequence of natural interfacing with the surrounding resource. And indeed, I have been repeatedly proven to make bad choices, as exemplified by the recent one on research topics. What I constantly forget is the setting under which certain things must be carried out, or occasionalism if you will. The failure to reconcile personal capricious pride and pragmatic precision is what caused me to undergo so much unnecessary struggling.
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About aquazorcarson

math PhD at Stanford, studying probability
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