various manifestation of selfishness

   I happen to observe that a quality so rarely called upon in society is so prevalent throughout the early part of one’s life. Every single evil seems to stem from that. If one always puts himself in a broader perspective, so as to not let his personal interest filibusters his mind, then in the end much more glorious feat can be done. The nature of human is such that it gets more and more greedy, and less and less satisfied with current state of livelihood. Sadly, only saints seem to be capable of status quo ecstasy. But in this sense, everyone exhibits saint-like quality. Indeed if one mesmerizes over a small incidence of another’s ordinary life, he might marvel easily at the fastness with which the other held on to his purpose of living.
   Narrowing down to my personal case, I have found that an increase of work pressure will result in less tolerability of unexcitable life. That is, I need external stimulus to keep me undepressed. Maybe it’s my selfishhood crying out for a balance between sacrifice and reward. So I resort to caffeinated substance, a tact that I used to frown upon for its reputed shortening effect on lifespan. But it also constitutes a defining moment of selfish thinking, albeit subtly, that effeminates my soul. Modern life cycle in no way diminishes the Darwinistic atrocity of the past, yet on the brighter side, religion continues to provide comfort to those who are mentally incompetitive. Someone who is completely bored with the rest of humanity due to his or her eminent caliber of one sort or another might find religion a placebo at best to a single problem that haunts people since the ancient time, namely after life. But even life itself begs for religious support, in a rather discontinuous and unsystematic fashion, at least for the lay crowd. But surprisingly a few idiotic principles gauged towards selfless attitude helped rectify millions of eternally lost souls, completely defying the rational mind in its most exuberant state.

About aquazorcarson

math PhD at Stanford, studying probability
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