Suddenly I believe in God

  I think George Carlin is the best comedian that has lived on this planet. But I couldn’t help disagree with him on the existence of God. Lately I have been emboldened enough to disclose some of my personal experience that shines the light of some divine conspiracy, through women. Admittedly California is a state that has been plagued not by the Gold rush, the earthquake, or the hippies and homosexuals, none of that! In fact it’s plagued by anoverwhelming lack of women. The quality of the remaining available ones, and by available I mean available to a moderately educated person like myself, is embarrassingly low. I read on the internet today that three of the most notable Islamic countries have surprisingly low women to men ratio, the cause of which is yet to be expounded. But if we looked at quality deflated women to men ratio in California, the figure is probably jaw dropping. The technological boom around the Sillicon valley bay area has attracted numerous sharp men into computer related field in here, but they forgot one thing, women were far less likely to enter such trade due to traditional gender role expectation. Furthermore, since the menfolks here are so competitive, they left no gems unturned during their course of stay and exploration, whereas women have such an appetizing variety of men to choose from that they could literally phish off their desired species off from internet at home in a cozy environment called webcam service station. I must admit that I have also been quite shallow minded in choosing my graduate school to be at the heart of the sillicon valley. Despite the fact that Stanford boasts a good supply of elite female students, they as have been remarked only wanted to marry the gods in the Oympus. Part of my loneliness is also due to the nature of my own subject, which devours enormous amount of time and leave no room for romantic or mundane thinking. And I am obstinate enough to feel more at home with pure mathematics, rather than even the slightest applied branches. In truth math would be a torture experience without some sort of unconditionally strong positive attitude and good feeling about life. In particular a sense of aristocracy is necessary for the smooth outflow of imagination. But without a female partner in life, it’s hard to sustain a good sense of confidence for more than a week, as I discovered in recent months or years. When I was marooned in the Netherlands, 60% of the interesting stuff that occupied my mind was how to date a local beauty of sort. I am perhaps considered quite picky in the meat market, having witnessed way too much human delicacy through media exposure to stomach the second class crippled female strangers. So the dream for an ideal partnership drifts on, and time flows at an increasingly slow rate until the singularity is reached at which life probably terminates. And all this is in the firm hand of a divine planner, which tickles me to find its response behavior to various devious actions.
  Even with the occasion romantic encounter that I happen to run into through painstaking effort of ruthless design, I soon feel the same coldhearted loneliness kicking in, at which point any reading of mathematics is rendered impotent and the dark age of reason begins to haunt me for an extended period of time until the next brief relief comes in. There is the tradeoff of good looking women with high performance demand versus trashy looking women who ask for less. But the system is designed so that I simply am not allowed to indulged in mathematics for a truly productive stretch of time before a psychological breakdown occurs due to the neglect of my potential partner, who can only be satisfied with the pursuit of extravagance and immediate fun seeking like watching an outrageously funny comedy show. Girls are slippery in the sense that they know exactly the value of their beauty and they exploit it with mathematical precision. That’s the fearfulness of natural selection and thanks to Darwin we now know there is no cure. The same principle applies to men as well, since they are probably also unsatisfied with unmatching relationship, i.e., with a partner who upbringing or physical endowment disgraces his own. But men have a certain standard that is invariant under the tidal change, whereas women are tidal animals by definition. So I totally believe there is a God in the background of all this making and he fucks men hard in the ass by removing a part of him known as woman to lure him into endless misery as long as he lives. There is simply no way to be in complete control of one’s life and feel positive all the time. Life is truly a Brownian motion with no predicability whatsoever aside from the most obvious ones. The  truly important parameters of life, like sense of belonging, sense of romantic stability, illusion of being in complete control, etc, are under complete ravishing by the divine counsel. Women are the true motivation force behind the exploration of the outside world, and the exploitation of natural resources. Men are much more comfortable with small self-sustainable economy, and the process of wealth accumulation. Women need money to feed their youthful beauty so that they don’t regret later on. In that sense Carpe Diem is a feminine term and created by men to give women the false illusions that men are also like them, hence they don’t despair for the fundamental incongruence of their soul. 
   There is some quality in me that’s simply not amenable to change, by which I mean not wired in as second nature. The fact that I like to count my nickles in my spending budget says it all. I am extremely focussed on the detail and unable to lift up to the level of scale economy. And that is probably because I could not convince myself the sustainability of an economy based on lending and borrowing. As someone has pointed out to me before, if a guy wants to borrow from you, the chance of him paying you back is statistically lower than average, especially when there is interest involved. If one considers the total salary he could make in his life time, and he is reasonably good with numbers, then he might shudder at every instance of imbursing out of his own wallet. It’s simply an irreversible process and that’s why so many people resort to illegal money hoarding in the end. Their mind became too brittle when they got old that the only suave of comfort comes from external input outside the big equation of lifetime worthiness, as can be easily calculated from IQ, height, and other genetic makeup, as well as family background. As science progresses further and further, the accuracy with which such equation can be tweaked will scare the shit of everybody and there becomes no point of living a premeditated drama any more. So either the great body of human knowledge must be abandoned forever or the human race will be wiped off the planet through massive rational suicide.

About aquazorcarson

math PhD at Stanford, studying probability
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4 Responses to Suddenly I believe in God

  1. lovely bear阿瑞娜 says:

    I don’t understand why it’s so long! It really takes time to read it. poorer, I can’t remember what’s said after finished the paragraph…uh…

  2. AquazorCarson says:

    I think everybody should read this article. It’s truly a master’s mind in writing.

  3. lovely bear阿瑞娜 says:

    So I did.-_-|

  4. Gosh I can’t believe I said that. I was remarkably confident back then.

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