the effect of truth speaking

   I used to not understand the importance of political freedom. I used to laugh at the triviality of certain rights, such as the right to criticize government in public. Well that is somehow changing now. And one of the motivation strength behind my ideological shift came from the great George Carlin, who died a premature death last year. The fact that he is gifted with imagination is astounding when placed out of the right political context. One must see him as a man made by the unique setting of his country, one that boasts great freedom at least at a symbolic level, and that’s what generates an unconditional grappling with ideas and stream of rational consciousness. The taboo of sex can greatly hinder one’s imaginative power, and more importantly, the developmental aspect of his brain circuitry. A child who learns the shamefulness of explicitating sex in public is gonna suffer from mental constipation and be afraid of grapping ideas or phrases at the first sign of emerging, which is so important to a world already teeming with brilliant ideas. Just like worrying about livelihood could deter the progress of a research scientist, as we saw in the decrepit state of China during the cultural revolution, so could the suppression of bestial desire such as an eagerness to display sexual availability, which the America media has promoted for decades, with perhaps a totally different purpose. It is healthy to personify the entire society into some sort of antagonist, so that humans like us can release our male hormone onto the destruction of such artificial structure, and masturbate in the glory of its aftermath. The 7 unspeakable words not only represent the theatrical nature of speech restriction in American legal system, they even tend to encourage coining of new phrases and creation of new ideas, that are completely incongruent with traditional thinking and therefore could lead one to an ultimate self liberation.
  When someone has long been subjected to certain speech prohibitions, such as dirty words, criticism at superiors, or simply nonsensical lunatic imagination, he could find it hard to reset to his creative mode. But personal I find it much easier to acquire a sense of fear, especially fear for wrongdoings. It must have been built in my system to recognize taboos in society, so that I avoid it with all my willpower, and in the process relegating other functions such as proving theorems or artistic ability to a lower category. This could perhaps explain why performing against an audience has most often led to unpleasant, and even degenerate results. Living on campus at Stanford is another grave setting in which I could easily get used to the fearsome environment in which I must act like a gentleman of sort, preferably over 6’2 tall, i.e., a member of the elite group. While my nerves are tensed up in response to such unconscious thoughts, they are no longer available for transmitting the excitement of some research discovery, or say the embracing of a new student body and the feeling of becoming part of a big family. The near death feeling cannot be resuscitated without a complete uprooting of the lifestyle, hence I had to move off campus for a quarter to enjoy the sunshine and freedom of a nonacademic setting.

About aquazorcarson

math PhD at Stanford, studying probability
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