the one thing I’d like to pray for

If after having preached self-perpetuated atheism for 20 some years, I am still entitled to one prayer to Christ the savior, I would like to remove my stubbornness and inability to reconcile with others pointing out my weaknesses or wrongdoings. I want to be completely self-reproachable, and adjust my attitude accordingly. I want to be for the most part a good follower of others’ suggestions, no matter how poignantly they are given. I want to keep my head cool at all times listening to others’ putative remarks, and always feel peaceful at heart in the face of constructive criticisms, and rightfully, but not irreconcilable shameful for my misconduct of any sort. More directly, I wish the almighty God to find me a way to mitigate the irrepressible anger aroused by others disagreeing with my inveterately held opinions or beliefs about my personal eptitude. This not only means to supress the anger in open view, but also to feel truly comfortable with the sudden cacophony with the self-inflatuating eulogies looped within my head, so that I behave like a true servant of fellow mankind, rather than a cocky aristocrat who feeds upon others’ humility.


About aquazorcarson

math PhD at Stanford, studying probability
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