How curious is it that the word “jealousy” ends with the note “lousy”. Indeed, one preoccupied by this unhealthy feeling is bound to produce lousy work, and lead a lousy life.
Throughout my intra-pubescent life I have been relentlessly consumed by the fire of envy. The first instance occurred during middle school, whence I competed academically against a fellow student Chris. Before long I realized how diversified he was outside the academia. I couldn’t but feel the urge to get caught up in all fronts. This was transformative. Within a few quarters, I shed 30 lbs through basketball, quit the habit of video games, though due to my lack of creativity and imagination, and anti-social nature, I was never as well received or perceived as a genius as he was. In those days, being a tech-savvy student was a privilege not slighted upon. I might have excelled at traditional subjects, but cs was always an eye-sore to me, mainly because I was extremely averse to information overflow, as was already characteristic back then with the advent of the internet. Somehow I was saved by immigrating to the US, a fact I was aware at least subconsciously. But at the same time I lost an important life lesson of how to outgrow noxious sentiments.
My second bout of frantic bitterness came during high school, when a friend of somewhat basic upbringing unwittingly instills the notion of heightism into my then tender and romantic view of adulthood. I wish my parents had given warnings to such ill-conceived feelings. This was worsened by their entire family’s mammonism, which runs counter to my educational background cherishing implicit virtues. Confronted with such brutal comparison, of which my father was not completely immune, though was largely unscathed by his strong self-conviction, I on the other hand was devastated, and sought for cures for the immutable physical traits, as well as conceiving ill-intended rhetoric against their condescending vilification, a skill I was certainly below average at. College then became my long-besought salvation from such vicious cycles of negative feedback and animosity.
Therefore the following verses from the bible should be constantly brought to attention: