Religious recourse to sentimental frailty

How curious is it that the word “jealousy” ends with the note “lousy”. Indeed, one preoccupied by this unhealthy feeling is bound to produce lousy work, and lead a lousy life.

Throughout my intra-pubescent life I have been relentlessly consumed by the fire of envy. The first instance occurred during middle school, whence I competed academically against a fellow student Chris. Before long I realized how diversified he was outside the academia. I couldn’t but feel the urge to get caught up in all fronts. This was transformative. Within a few quarters, I shed 30 lbs through basketball, quit the habit of video games, though due to my lack of creativity and imagination, and anti-social nature, I was never as well received or perceived as a genius as he was. In those days, being a tech-savvy student was a privilege not slighted upon. I might have excelled at traditional subjects, but cs was always an eye-sore to me, mainly because I was extremely averse to information overflow, as was already characteristic back then with the advent of the internet. Somehow I was saved by immigrating to the US, a fact I was aware at least subconsciously. But at the same time I lost an important life lesson of how to outgrow noxious sentiments.

My second bout of frantic bitterness came during high school, when a friend of somewhat basic upbringing unwittingly instills the notion of heightism into my then tender and romantic view of adulthood.  I wish my parents had given warnings to such ill-conceived feelings. This was worsened by their entire family’s mammonism, which runs counter to my educational background cherishing implicit virtues. Confronted with such brutal comparison, of which my father was not completely immune, though was largely unscathed by his strong self-conviction, I on the other hand was devastated, and sought for cures for the immutable physical traits, as well as conceiving ill-intended rhetoric against their condescending vilification, a skill I was certainly below average at. College then became my long-besought salvation from such vicious cycles of negative feedback and animosity.

Therefore the following verses from the bible should be constantly brought to attention:

Psalms 37:1 Fret not yourself because of evildoers, neither be you envious against the workers of iniquity.
Proverbs 14:30 A sound heart is the life of the flesh: but envy the rottenness of the bones.
Proverbs 27:4 Wrath is cruel, and anger is outrageous; but who is able to stand before envy?
Song of Solomon 8:6 Set me as a seal on your heart, as a seal on your arm: for love is strong as death; jealousy is cruel as the grave: the coals thereof are coals of fire, which has a most vehement flame.
Romans 13:13 Let us walk honestly, as in the day; not in rioting and drunkenness, not in chambering and wantonness, not in strife and envying.
1 Corinthians 3:3 For you are yet carnal: for whereas there is among you envying, and strife, and divisions, are you not carnal, and walk as men?
1 Corinthians 13:4 Charity suffers long, and is kind; charity envies not; charity braggs not itself, is not puffed up,
Philippians 2:3 Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.
James 3:14 But if you have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth.
James 3:15 This wisdom descends not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish.
James 3:16 For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.
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About aquazorcarson

math PhD at Stanford, studying probability
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