Today as usual I arrived late to company breakfast, due to morning busy work with kids. As soon as I finished ordering, the receptionist asked for my name. So with some nasal stuffiness, I said John. After several repetition, he finally wrote down “Jong”. I had no idea how he came up with this highly unusual spelling. Maybe it is somewhat common among Koreans? Maybe he himself is also Korean? I then corrected his spelling. Just like other receptionists before him, he eventually figured it out and re-uttered my name with a theatrically condescending tone. Outraged by my inability to get it right the first time, I retorted: “how should I pronounce my name?” He then smiled and conceded that he had bad hearing. But surely there is something wrong with the way I handled the nasality of the word “John”. It’s one of those American words that has no dictionary perfect pitch.
My voice tends to lack the resounding quality of a leader, or even a domain expert. I attribute this not to my physical inadequacy, but a general lack of confidence. When I utter a sentence, it usually has not been completely thought out. Even if it has, my mind can vacillate mid-air. Throughout my higher education I have over-emphasized depth and originality of ideas and neglected presentation. It takes considerable deliberation to present a piece of information in a socially convincing manner, no matter how trivial it is. Indeed, great speakers tend to over-sell mundane ideas, over and over, without boring or embarrassing the audience. I might have missed a critical lesson for not going through the brutality of academic job search, which requires an inordinate amount of salesmanship. So as a stage II corporate parasite, I must voluntarily allocate quality time to re-establish my character independence.